How to Trust Your Nervous System In Love

Subject: How to Trust Your Nervous System in Love

Yesterday, I shared how your nervous system never lies. If you’re feeling anxious, second-guessing, or forcing things in a relationship, that’s your body telling you something is off.

But how do you trust those signals? How do you know when to lean in—or when it’s time to let go?

Let’s break it down using Tony Robbins' 6 Human Needs. These needs drive every decision we make, including who we choose to love and stay connected to. When these needs are met in a healthy, consistent way, your nervous system feels calm and safe. When they’re not, you’ll feel unsettled, anxious, or even trapped.

Here are the 6 Human Needs to tune into:

1. Certainty – Do you feel safe, secure, and confident in where you stand with him?
2. Uncertainty/Variety – Does the relationship bring excitement and spontaneity, or is it stuck in a loop of predictability or chaos?
3. Significance – Do you feel valued, important, and appreciated for who you are?
4. Love & Connection – Are you emotionally connected, feeling deep love and intimacy?
5. Growth – Is this relationship helping you evolve into your best self?
6. Contribution – Do you feel like you’re both giving to each other, supporting each other’s dreams and lives?

Now, here’s the key:

If you’re feeling each of these at a level 10, your nervous system will be in alignment. You’ll feel peace, joy, and confidence in your relationship. But if you’re consistently falling short—especially in certainty, significance, and love & connection—it may be time to listen to that inner voice telling you it’s not right.

And here’s the part many people overlook:
The energy you give is the energy you get.

If you’re not showing up as a 10 in these areas, you can’t expect your partner to do it for you. Relationships reflect the energy we bring into them. So, before deciding it’s time to move on, ask yourself:

Am I giving certainty, variety, love, significance, growth, and contribution at a 10?

If the answer is yes—and you’re still not receiving it back—it may be time to trust your nervous system and choose yourself.

But if you realize you’ve been holding back, it might be time to step up and see how the relationship shifts when you bring your full self to the table.

Your body always knows the truth. It’s time you listened. 🌹♥️

With love, Jenn